Harder than I thought :)

Well, after trying to follow through with my new things I have been successful at being in the Word, and then somehow had two of the hardest days after...hmmm, interesting. I did get to start my new workout, but only made it through half the video before completely falling over, then and letting Hudson cry has not been as bad as I thought. Now the potty-training thing will have its own post...but let's just say I am thinking this will not be a weekend project :P

Oh, and just for good measure, here are a few new pics :)

Invisible Mother

I read this tonight and it really blessed me...and really it could apply to just simply being a Christian. I want to learn to be this way :)

The Invisible Mother
By Mary Lynn Plaisance

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible - The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more.

"Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?"

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?'

I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?'

I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner,celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.

It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built,
and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man,
'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof?
No one will ever see it.'

And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will
become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime
because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

New Things

Here are the new things I am doing as of tonight...
-De-activating my face-book account, for at least a bit
-Starting "Insanity", a hard-core workout video to get back in shape
-Letting Hudson Cry-it-out, not how I have been doing by going in and patting and picking him up and stopping after a few hours, but until he starts to sleep
-Potty training Noah...OH DEAR!
-Spending more time in the Word, I miss Jesus!

Now I just need God's strength to do all of them :)

I am a mom...

So I was sitting and thinking and praying last night and realized that it is ok to just be what I am right now. It is ok to wait and volunteer for things when my kids are bigger, it is ok to say no to stuff, it is ok to stay at home and play with my kids and clean my house and that be all that I "do" with my life. Yes, sometimes I feel pressure from everyone else that I should be doing more, as so many others do it, but there is real freedom in being where I am and do what God has me doing in this time. I know there will be a time (and it will come up sooner than I think) that I will have so many other things I am doing, I will miss nursing, or playing blocks on the floor, or even cooking a meal for my family. Not that just realizing this will magically fix my thinking, but I am really going to try with God's help to be where I am today, and to be ok with that. Ok, so I think I smell a dirty diaper :)....

Santa :)

Not sure we have quite decided if we are going to be Santa people or not with the kids, but at least I know, we will take pics with him...I mean, come on, it is so darn cute :) And Hudson really liked putting his hands into Santa's beard!

Watch this really funny video of the four of us dancing a little country :)

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